Tuesday, December 4, 2012

ICAC Inquiry Drinking Game

Are you a member of the NSW Labor party? Have you been following the current ICAC inquiry into Obeid, MacDonald and their cohort? Well now you have an excuse to drink heavily whilst doing so, which seems to be the only rational way to respond to it.


You Will Need

1 x bottle of spirits (preferably hard and miserable)
1 x shot glass per player
1 x ALP membership ticket to sadly reflect upon as you play the game (optional)


The Rules


One shot for every laboured attempt to use the -gate suffix.

One shot for every mention of the term 'slush fund'.

One shot for prostitutes.

Two shots for rent-boys*.

One shot for any comment that connects the number of QC's representing the Obeid family to the $800 million that Obeid allegedly** made out of this.

One shot for every MP suspended from the party.

Two shots for every expulsion from the party.

One shot for every pissweak party reform idea that Sam Dastyari proposes.

One shot for every attempt by the Liberal Party to blame the unions for this.

Two shots for every time the Liberal Party mentions Peter Debnam.

Three shots for every time the Liberal Party mentions Nick Greiner.

One shot for every picture of Obeid's mansion on the evening news.

One shot if any defendant cites 'human weakness' as their justification.

Two shots if any defendant cites 'YOLO' as their justification.

One shot if anybody thinks that 'The Terrigals' were a band that was played a couple of times on Triple J in the 90's.


Special Rules


The Thommo- At the first mention of Craig Thompson in the actual inquiry itself (because he has to be in there somewhere) all participants must shout 'A Wild Craig Thompson Appears' and take a shot. The last participant to do so has to go and purchase another bottle of spirits, preferably on a union credit card.

The Plot Twist- At the beginning of the game, all participants must decide what the crazy 'Homeland'-style plot twist in all of this is going to be and write them on a slip of paper that is then collected in a hat. Some suggestions include:
-It was all a dream
-Eddie Obeid clicked one of those 'You Have Won $800 Million' spam emails and that's how it all occurred. 
-Eric Roozendaal is carrying Joe Tripodi's baby.
-Ian MacDonald was an accomplice to that bomb collar guy.
-The Terrigals WERE a band that got some rotation on Triple J in the 90's
The entries are read out, and if that person's plot twist comes true then that person gets immediately elected head of the NSW parliamentary Labor Party.






*Not trying to be hetero-normative here, just passing comment that considering that almost all of the figures involved in this are professedly straight men with wives and children the addition of male prostitutes to this scandal would be a rather salacious twist.

**Please do not sue me. I used the word allegedly, surely that has placated you and your very expensive legal team, Mr Obeid.

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